Archive for April, 2015
I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you,
but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
(1 Corinthians 7:35, ESV)
Let’s face it; singleness is hard! Singleness in our present cultural climate is really hard! While the 1960s led to free sex, where sex outside of marriage became the norm, today there is great cultural pressure to redefine sexuality, gender, and marriage. Christian singles today must navigate this sea of cultural confusion, and they will be tested as to what they believe. In fact, the church itself will be tested as to what it believes about sexuality, gender, and marriage.
However, it does not get any easier for those singles who remain committed to what the Bible teaches regarding sexuality, gender, and marriage. No! For them, they still have to consider all the difficulties and temptations of being single in a sex-crazed, culturally-confused world. So, just what does the Bible teach about being Christian and single? Here are six truths the Bible affirms about singleness.
1. To be single is to be celibate (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). Celibacy is practicing self-control in order to abstain from satisfying sexual desire. Evidently, in Corinth there were some who were married who were practicing such self-control for religious reasons. The apostle Paul argues that celibacy within marriage is contrary to God’s design for sexuality (7:1-5). In fact, marriage is the only place where sexual desire is to be satisfied. Sexual desire is good; it is a part of our humanity. But sex may only be enjoyed within a life-long covenant marriage between one man and one woman (Genesis 2:18-25).
Therefore, when the Bible speaks of Christians who are single, it does not merely refer to someone who is not married. To the world, singles are simply those who are not yet married. One of the reasons singles are putting off marriage today is because sex and marriage have been separated. Therefore, singles may enjoy the benefits of marriage, namely satisfying sexual desire (men) and companionship (women), without any of its responsibilities (commitment). But according to Scripture, since marriage is the only place where sexual desire is to be satisfied (cf. 7:5, 9), then to be single is to be celibate. Having been married now almost 25 years, I can only imagine how hard it is in today’s world for singles to remain celibate. Yet, God does not abandon us to pursue holiness in our own strength.
2. Singleness is a gift of grace from God (1 Corinthians 7:6-9). If singles are to persevere in purity and holiness, then they will need to recognize that celibacy/singleness is a gift of God’s grace. In fact, Paul uses the same word for gift (charisma) that he uses of such spiritual gifts as prophecy, miracles, and tongues. Additionally, Paul reminds us that, like all other spiritual gifts, celibacy is a gift of grace given by God.
Because celibacy/singleness is a gift of grace given by God to certain individuals, then it’s a good gift (cf. 7:38). That means that those of us who are married cannot look down on singles and feel sorry for them, as if somehow they are incomplete. It also means that singles must recognize their season of singleness as a good thing, a good gift, and give thanks to God.
If celibacy/singleness is a good gift from God, then that also means that biblical manhood and womanhood do not depend on being married. In other words, marriage does not make one a true biblical man or woman. Singles, you are to pursue biblical manhood and womanhood as men and women. The clearest picture of biblical manhood we have is that of our Lord Jesus Christ who was never married. So singles are not second class Christians; however, nor are they more spiritual for being single. After all, not everyone has this gift (7:7).
3. Singleness is also a calling that requires a fight of faith (1 Corinthians 7:17-27). Sometimes there is a misunderstanding that because singleness is a gift of God’s grace, then that means that sexual desire is removed, and it is easy to remain celibate. However, nothing could be further from the truth. Admittedly, there may be (rare) individuals who may offer such a testimony, but I suspect that the common experience of every human being is the natural longing for sexual desires to be satisfied.
Celibacy/singleness is not only a gift; it is a calling. Paul says as much in 1 Corinthians 7:17. The “theme” of 1 Corinthians 7 is “remain as you are.” Paul urges the Corinthians to “lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him” (7:17). That includes celibacy. Yet, as we’ve already admitted, celibate singleness is NOT easy; it is hard. It is hard precisely because sexual desire is natural, and celibacy is a call to practice self-control and not satisfy those desires.
Celibacy/singleness, then, is a call to remain unmarried and pursue godliness and sexual purity while unmarried. It is a call that requires a fight of faith to believe that celibacy is a good gift, and that Christ is sufficiently satisfying for every need. It is a fight of faith to believe that sexual desire is only to be satisfied within a life-long marital covenant, and therefore, sexual desire is not to be satisfied alone (self-satisfaction) or with anyone else. And that fight does not have to be entered into alone. So singles, don’t fight alone, gather with the church-older/younger; married/single; those like you/those not like you.
But also know that it is not wrong to pursue marriage. That is much better than to burn with passion and fall into temptation and sin (7:9). Yet, don’t make marriage an idol. If a relationship or marriage becomes an idol, then you will willingly sacrifice all (your purity, convictions, etc.) at its altar. If you are dissatisfied, cynical, and bitter while you are single, you will likely be dissatisfied, cynical, and bitter while you are married.
4. Singleness has certain advantages (1 Corinthians 7:32-34). Being single has certain advantages over being married. Singles have certain freedoms with their finances. They can invest more freely; they can reduce debt more aggressively; they can give more sacrificially. Singles also have certain freedoms with their time. They don’t have to go directly home to a spouse or children; they can freely choose where to invest their time. Singles also have certain freedoms with their plans. They can be flexible about future plans, where marrieds cannot.
There is much freedom and flexibility during singleness that is not available to those who are married. So singles, consider how you are spending your time, your money. Consider the flexibility of your plans. What are you doing with those freedoms? Utilize those freedoms and flexibility to the glory of God.
5. Singleness is purposeful (1 Corinthians 7:35). The freedoms and flexibility of singleness do not exist for personal convenience and benefit, though they may be real blessings. Paul reminds us that the real reason for the advantages of singleness is to secure undivided devotion to the Lord. And if spiritual gifts are for the edification of the church (cf. 12:7), then clearly, the gift of singleness is granted by God to certain individuals for the sake of the Lord and the good of the church.
So singles, ask yourselves how you can serve Christ. Ask yourselves how you can serve the church. I am sure there are multiple opportunities to serve where you are right now. But also remember that with your flexibility, be willing to change your plans and spend some time on the mission field for a few weeks, months, or even years. Who knows but that you may meet your spouse as you pursue Christ in undivided devotion.
6. Like earthly marriage, singleness is temporary. Though Paul does not address this directly in 1 Corinthians 7, he does point us to this truth in Ephesians 5:32. There he says that the profound mystery of the first marriage (cf. Genesis 2:18-25) refers to Christ and his church. In other words, the first marriage was always meant to point to the last marriage (Revelation 19). It is no surprise, then, that the Bible both begins and ends with a marriage. The first marriage ends in death (1 Corinthians 7:39); the last marriage is eternal.
But what’s important for singles to remember is that, while earthly marriage pictures the gospel by showing Christ’s love for his church and the church’s love for Christ, singles picture the gospel by showing the church patiently awaiting her bridegroom to come for her. Jesus is the bridegroom who came to earth, and died to pay the price for the adultery of his bride. He was raised on the third day and is now exalted to the Father’s right hand where he intercedes for his awaiting bride. He is now cleaning us up and preparing us for that great wedding day when we will wear that spotless white wedding dress. And that means that all can come to him and find forgiveness and cleansing, no matter how unscrupulous their past. Jesus receives all who disregard all other lovers and give themselves to him alone.
I thank God for singles, for they remind us of our always faithful bridegroom, and they show us how to wait patiently precisely because Jesus is all-satisfying. You see, singleness is a gift from God with a purpose. Singles, what will you do with that gift?
Resource: @high_pointe sermon media
Singleness: Freedom from Anxiety for Undivided Devotion to the Lord
1 Corinthians 7:1-35